Back in 2003, when I was in Grade 3, I was the first of the only two people in an entire class of 60 something kids to start wearing spectacles. The first day when I entered the class with my specs resting on my nose, my group of friends, like the cartoons they were, started telling me that now that I’ve gotten specs, I’m an old woman and other such self-proclaimed “funny” comments. That’s when I realized that the ride with the spectacles is going to be a rough one. If you’ve got chashma, this article is your daily routine. If you’re somehow lucky to not wear specs, let me show you the world of people with specs.

 

 

Now You See Me:

I don’t exactly know why people do this, or what they expect from us. But, anyway, just in case you don’t get the logic, I’ll tell you. One of the major reasons why a person wears a pair of powered glasses is because he/she has reduced clarity in the eyes. Yes, that’s right. “Reduced Clarity”. However, that condition does not lead to people seeing extra or fewer things without their specs. If they do, then they’re probably schizophrenic or just high. So, please, stop showing us fingers and asking us the number of fingers when we don’t put our specs on. 😐

 

What’s Your Story?

At least once… Oh, wait, my bad! Not once, but actually every person you ever meet in your life asks you a series of questions. Are you wearing power glasses? When did you start wearing spectacles? Why did you start wearing spectacles?  Do you wear your spectacles all the time? Do you wear your spectacles when you bathe? Does the power of your specs ever decrease? Honestly, if anything, that seems nothing less than an interview, and an interview with no intentions or results whatsoever. Why even?

 

 

Natural Bokeh:

This is a subset of the first point. You know how they say, “Eyes are natural cameras”? Yeah, well, it’s very much true. As long as you have your specs on, everything is fine, like the perfect autofocus mode. The moment you take your specs out, even for a second, everything gets turned into a disorderly bike, like a messed up manual focus.

(PRA)

 

Fog Chal Raha Hai:

No, not Fogg, the perfume. Fog, the weather condition. Although that has got nothing to do with this. Foggy glasses are one of the most dreadful parts of wearing glasses. Every time you get out of an air-conditioned car, or a cold building, or you take a hot shower with your glasses kept on the bathroom shelf, there you have it- your glasses are completely “fogged up”, thus ruining the perfect vision.

(Ew)

 

The Constant Question:

I don’t know about others, but I’ve often been asked, and sometimes been suggested too- whether or not I’d like to use contact lenses. Of course, lenses are all hip and trendy. Many people opt for contact lenses as well. But talking about myself, I’m pretty much loyal to my big ol’ glasses. Personal preferences, Y’all. 🤓

Chashma Toot Gayaaa:

Raise your hands if you’ve never ever broken your glasses. You, miladies and milords, have a special place reserved in heaven for you. But as far as I know people, there’s not a single person who hasn’t broken their spectacles, either intentionally or accidentally. The pain that our glasses suffer is so severe, I wonder how bad their soul cries.

Fun fact: The most brutal accident that happened with my specs was that one time when someone sat on my glasses in Maths tuition. 😶

 

 

 

Sunglasses What?

“Gore gore mukhde pe kaala kaala chashma”. No, sir, that doesn’t apply to us. Well, of course, there are power sunglasses. But they are never funky. And the only time we actually use a sunglass is for photographs. And the longer we use it, the more our heads start aching, because no power glasses, duh! Oh! The misery! 😢

 

 

What’s in a Name?

The day you get prescription glasses is the day you are going to hear your original name for the last time. People are creative. And one of the places where they use their creativity is coming up with innovative names for the bespectacled. Want a list?

-Chashmish

-Chashme Baddoor

-Battery

-Double Battery

-Granny/Grandpa

-Dork

-Geek

Okay, I’mma stop writing, because I don’t wanna cry.

 

 

Tip Tip Barsa Paani:

Who doesn’t love rains? The feeling when you’re riding your two-wheeler and it suddenly starts drizzling or raining heavily is pretty amazing. But even that ruins the fun for a person wearing specs. The moment it starts raining, we’re all happy and chilled out and we’re minding our own business and riding our bikes/scooties. Fast forward 5 seconds later, the entirety of the spectacles is filled with raindrops, so you wipe it off. Fast forward to another 2 seconds later, and the specs are adorned with raindrops again and you’re back to wiping it off. Basically, no matter how far the destination is, if you’re wearing specs and if it starts raining, you will be stopping 50 gazillion times.

 

Speaking from the bottom of my stomach, life as a bespectacled person is pretty challenging. Oh! The pains and the dilemmas! But at the end of the day, I do need my specs to be able to see properly, so I might as well be polite about the entire thing.

Got more fun facts? Leave your answers in the comment box. 😎